butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
