I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
