Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I love you. Go after that dick
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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