Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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