Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
