we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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