the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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