Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
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