he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
She even gives head with a lisp.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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