I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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