I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
So many bounce houses so little time
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
