is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
