Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize