sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
