he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
it glows. i had to have it.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize