I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
