do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
