he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
