just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
