Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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