whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
