bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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