I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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