Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
