We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
im calling her cock vulture from now on
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
