Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
