I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
