you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
