i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
