There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
