you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
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