There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
