I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
