Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
