i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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