forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
