And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
