that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
