you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
