You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
