so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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