your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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