Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize