Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
