but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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