Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
