Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
