That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
