My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
