there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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