you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
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