Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
you told grandpa to call you daddy
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Sext me about skeletons
A+ Viking dick
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
