what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
