Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
