I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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