I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
