So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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