i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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