i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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