so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
