He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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