evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
