so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
