we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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