so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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