what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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