I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
