that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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