I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
