u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
