I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
time to smoke my breakfast
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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