Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
